My Worst Ebay Experience EVER!

22 08 2008

Happening as we speak.  I knew there were crazy people out there, but this is getting really scary.

I’ve been a member of ebay for 10 years with 100% positive feedback.  And to be fair, the seller ALSO has 100% positive feedback, which is why this is so bizarre.

The purchase:

Two 5″ Mugs bought for $5.50 with a shipping/handling total of $12.25.  Very reasonable.

I was thrilled, because these are hard to find and I have a set and two are broken.  So imagine my ecstatic state when I sniped these, won them, and awaited their arrival to take their place amongst their long lost bretheren.

The seller shipped very quickly.  A good sign.  Anticipation mounting.  The postman arrives on Wednesday morning and I barrel to the door with glee.  This is my postman who comes in the mornings and delivers packages.  I open the door, eyes wide (I have already made room for the additions and am debating…should I really throw out the others…?) and he looks at me with a sad, douleful face.

The box he is holding is a standard priority USPS mail box, about 16x12x3.  He shakes the box.  The horrible sound of broken shards travelling up and down the box reaches my ears.  He says, “this is glass, right?”  Another awful tilt back and forth.  I’m in shock.  I nod.  He says, “it’s broken.”  I wither.  He tilts the box back and forth again.  “You should just not accept delivery,” he says.  I take the box and perform the tilt.  No question–the weight of the broken ceramic travels up and down, back and forth…  My dreams have turned to shards.  I hand it back and he whisks it away so I don’t have to bear witness any longer…

Now, the fury begins…the mugs are 5″ tall and 3″ wide…were it me, I would have packed them in a box wider than 3″ and wrapped them in bubble wrap and completely surrounded them with popcorn.  MYYYY MUUUUGGGGGSSSSS that I have waited years to appear on ebay…

I rush to the computer and send this:

The box arrived this morning and was not properly packed. Everything was smashed. I refused the shipment and it is being returned to you. Please credit my account. I am very upset about this as they were part of a set and I would have gladly paid more for proper packaging.

Yes, a tad emotional, but still professional, given the circumstances, I think.

The answer:

As soon as it arrives and I see what has happened since I had it properly packaed. I don’t know how that happened since this is a first. And I sent it out priority mail so you would have it fast.

A reasonable response which calms me down.  I then respond:

OK. I didn’t even open the box, which showed no signs of damage. I would say the box was way too small for the mugs. They should have been wrapped in bubble wrap and placed in a larger box with popcorn to keep from moving and away from the sides. It looks like pressure on the box just crushed them. I’m only upset because these are very, very, very rare and hard to find, so I was particularly looking forward to their arrival.

OK.  Still upset about the loss, but explaining the emotion.  As I was writing this however, I received another email:

Question for you, how would you know that the package was not properly packed if you rrefused the package? And how do you know everything inside was smashed if you refused the package? Please explain that?

The gauntlet has been picked up.  Have I not ears?

Ummm, how about rattling, broken, ceramic when you shake the box? It was so obvious, the postman asked me if I didn’t want accept as he shook the box.

And now, the beginning of the not so subtle twist!

Ok, if you didn’;t open the box, what you heard rattling around inside was poopcorn. So you basically sent me back something that wasn’t even bad? Yes, both cups were wrapped in bubble wrap and fitted in the box with no problem. I had popcorn both in the bottom, in between and on top. The box wasn’t damaged or anything? You should have at least opened the box to look before judging. You are sending back perfectly good cups. So now what do you want to do? Pay for it to be shipped to you again?

So now it’s MY fault?!  Amazing!

The rattling was not popcorn. But if the cups are fine, I will happily pay to ship the cups again with insurance, priority.

And now the twist of the dagger…

I tell you what, on the 25 when the money clears my paypal account I will refund your money and I will keep the cups since you don’t seem to have a clue. You could have at least opened the box to see what was up instead of assuming that the stuff was broken. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with someone who doesn’t have a clue. Sorry, you lost out this time.

So now I’m being PUNISHED!  Remember, this is a $12.25 transaction!  Before I could even think of responding, I receive another:

Incsase you didn’t know, it’s possible for the popcorn to rattle in the cups. I know because I heard it when I had it packaged. You should have just checked when you had the package. Sorry, the cups will stay with me. And please no more emails.

Nya, nya, nya, nya, nya!  I’m now in more of a state of shock as to the exchange than the broken mugs.  I do not respond, as per my “instructions,” and try to forget about it.

Today, Friday, I receive this unbelievable missive:

This is concerning the set of cups. Because of you refusing the package, it’s still in Bethpage, NY. It’s been returning there since you refused it. I am going to make one thing clear now, if I have to pay extra for it coming back here, that will be money that doesn’t go back to you. And since this package keeps going back to Bethpage, NY, something is bound to happen to it. Yes, I’m upset that you pulled this. I have been watching this package ever since your message to me. So I hope nothing gets damaged while it’s coming here, if it ever finally reaches here. Just letting you know now.

FOR $12.25!!!!!!  So now, when the mugs arrive in shards, in which state they already are, it will be because I SENT THEM BACK!  We are clearly in the land of the deranged.  Keep the 12 bucks, baby.  You need it for a shrink more than I.

To be continued…